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Sunday, September 26, 2010

pre-winter storms...

Well, winter will soon be arriving here in Alaska. How do I know this? The pre-winter storms have started. Thursday night the wind started. Friday we woke up to continued wind (according to reports, 50 mph with gusts of up to 100) and to find that half of one of the trees in the back yard had broken and fallen over. Not much of a surprise for this poor tree. We had tried to support it, but, years before we bought the place, someone had tied it and forgotten. Over the years the wire had cut in as the tree tried to grow around it. It has lost bits in the past, either through winds or though pruning we've done to try to save the tree. We don't know if it will survive the most recent damage. We will try to repair it for the winter and see how it does next year, but this might have been the last straw for it and we might have to cut it down.
As if the winds weren't enough fun, Friday also saw Tom heading back up to work, so no, he didn't have time to deal with the tree, so I will get to do that later this week. (hoping to get the son in law to do most of it, actually...) Then Saturday morning, at 4 AM, I got woken up by an earthquake. Felt pretty big, but, after listening to make sure it didn't wake up the grandbaby who was staying over, I, and everyone else in the state, rolled over and went back to sleep. Turns out it was a 5.4 centered about 89 miles north of here. I know, to those of you use to California quakes, that sounds huge. Up here, they are generally so deep that, while things get shaken up a bit, there's rarely much, if any damage, cept maybe to knickknacks.. I spent most of Saturday cleaning the last of the garden stuff off the back porch. One or two things still to take care of in the yard and things should be ready to go for the winter.
And today I discovered that my bell pepper plant that has been kept in the house with the tomatoes, is infested with spider mites... *sigh* So far it doesn't look like they've spread to any of the other plants and it is now in isolation in an attempt to save it. I've gotten 2 peppers off of it so far this year, and it has several more in development, and, darn it, I want those peppers! This is the first year I've gotten one to actually produce viable fruit and I want em!
Probably the hardest storm was today at Church though. I was running late and arrived just in time to hear someone talking about how important it is to have kids while you're young enough to keep up with them, not when you're older and tired. That kinda stung, but I could deal with it. I know that these people have no clue of the heartache I deal with because of infertility and I know I wasn't their intended audience even if I was in the audience. But then, class was all about the importance of teaching in the home and our roles as mothers. Ok, twist that knife a little more.. I was able to participate without too much problem, but by the end, I was really feeling that, although I know the role and have been granted a small, part time part, I still feel as if someone out there is saying that I'm not worthy enough for a full time gig. And it hurts, it hurts so badly. Tom always jokes and tells me that I didn't need the practice and that I'm one of nature's grandmothers, and I adore the grand daughter, but, darn it, I want to be Mommy! I'm tired of waiting, of finally getting started on adoption paperwork only to have something new pop up to put things on hold again. Why can't my body just work for once!?!
On the way home from Church today, there were tiny little snow flurries. They left no trace and were soon gone.
Yup, winter will be here soon.

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