Well...

Life sure likes to throw sideways.
I started a new blog (yay!) and things are going well over there, though some of the ideas I had for it are on hold because of.. complications.. in other areas..
In early February Hubby got laid off.. surprise, out of no-where.. know we told you we were going to have work and gave you an assignment for this week, but, oops.. we lied..
So we've been income-less for a month and a half now. This has not been fun. Money is tight, but so far we are managing. Not sure how much longer that will all last though. I am very anxious for our tax refund to show up soon. But we have had some blessings through all of this:
We had gotten a line of credit last summer that was supposed to be used this coming summer as an emergency back up for a road trip Hubby wanted to take. (Motorcycle across the country type thing..) His lay off last fall pretty much put an end to the plans for that trip, but we have had that money as a cushion. Even though we HATE touching it, we are very grateful to have had it available.
I am so grateful that I listened to all the messages and promptings over the years about food storage. We have needed to buy very few things this past month and a half because we have plenty of food and supplies stored up. And it's all stuff we normally eat anyway. So there is no, "ugh, we're sick cuz we've suddenly changed our diet" period of adaptation. We have been able to eat regular food, and regular meals, even roasts, steaks, french fries, cookies, etc, and all the trimmings, because I have a well stocked pantry and freezer. I'd been contemplating the idea of getting another freezer and/or fridge for a while, I think I might be able to convince Hubby of it now.. (Ok, we did have a second fridge in the basement, but it kinda died.. we still use it for shelving and storage though.. we'd gotten it for free. It was very old.. avocado green type old... the freezer on it still works though..) But, yes, food storage rocks. I highly recommend it. Even with my food allergies and dietary restrictions, having supplies of things I can eat and not have to worry about any of it has been wonderful. Also, I've somehow managed to accrue a 3 to 6 months supply of my prescription meds. This is one of those things that gets forgotten a lot of times as well. While my meds aren't horribly pricey, it is nice to know that, if we need to, I can skip ordering them for a month or two.
Even failures can turn into successes. I was attempting a recipe creation using some of the bottled carrots form the pantry. It wasn't working out the way I was hoping. I didn't want to throw it out, of course, so I gave it some thought and turned my failed recipe into dog treats, that, let me just say, my dogs go NUTS for. They love these things more then anything else I've ever seen them react to. Even our shy little Petey who is the biggest scaredy cat in the world will come out of his hidey holes and DEMAND these cookies.. And Hubby has been applying for everything he can find. He has even been pointed into directions that he'd really like to go, but never thought he'd qualify for. One company even cold called him about a job that would be _exactly_ what he wants to be doing, but he never thought they'd even look at him. And they called him! Out of the blue. They'd seen his resume online and wanted to talk to him. We're still waiting on call backs about a lot of things, but this lay off might be the chance for him to make some HUGE changes. He's also had the chance to meet and talk to some new people that have pointed him in other directions. He's off talking to Big brothers Big Sisters this afternoon, and he's found a local group that are restoring an old steam locomotive. Now, Hubby LOVES trains.. his father worked on the old steam engines back in the day, so he's just loving having the chance to work on bringing an old one back up to snuff. We went and talked to them a bit on Saturday and he will be going over to fill out paperwork and such for helping out later this week.
I'm really hoping he hears back from one or two of these companies this week. It's a hard time for electricians right now. One of the local companies laid off about 70 or so of them a week or so before he got laid off, so there are a lot of them looking for work right now. Everyone keeps saying that hiring will be picking back up in "March or April." I'm really hoping for sooner over later..

Playing catch up

Ok, I've kinda slacked off a bit, but things got crazy. Thanksgiving was hectic and emotional. We had our family dinner on Friday and while I was home getting things prepped, Hubby and the girls went shopping. While they were out, we got a call from OCS about a possible placement.We got very excited as it was one that would likely have lead to an adoption. Sadly, it fell through within hours of our being notified of the possibility. I was a complete and total wreck the rest of the weekend and, honestly, am still sad that if fell through.
Then first week of December we a quick, short term emergency placement of a sibling group. Unfortunately, we had to call that placement off even shorted then it was meant to be because I went and got very, very ill. I was looking at hospitalization and there wouldn't have been anyone available to watch the kids. (They'd been waiting on grandparents to come in from the villages to get them, they were able to get grandma to come in earlier then originally scheduled.) I hated having to call that short, but there really wasn't much other option. I barely managed to stay out of the hospital and eventually recovered, but it was not a fun week. And annoying when a "2-day bug" winds up lasting a week and being 5 times worse then everyone said to expect..
M went down to her mom's for Christmas, so it was just Tom and I and the dogs. He wound up having some unplanned time off over the holidays, so we got to spend time together working on projects and such.
We still haven't gotten another foster placement yet, but we have some classes scheduled in the next few months covering adopting through the foster system.
The dogs are all still crazy. Willow has somehow managed to hang in there and is refusing to die, though it can't be much longer now. We will all be horribly sad when she passes, but, she's had a good run and she has taken a turn for the worse this past weekend, though she keeps trying to perk up.
And, after some cajoling and repeated suggestions, I've gone and started a gluten free food blog!  Click here to check it out! It's not much yet, but it's a start, and not nearly as much work as doing the cookbook everyone keeps saying I should write.
B2 was up here for the past week and a half doing some work for the company she worked for over the summer. They had a job up in Fairbanks that they needed extra hands for, so they talked her into coming up for it. She went back to school yesterday, but seems to have liked it up there in the -40 temps and dark and, oh, did I mention cold... She has pretty well decided that she wants to go to school up there next year.

So that pretty much brings us up to speed.

Gone

Last Friday our little foster girl left us. It is a good move for her. They found a foster placement that could take her and her siblings, so they can all be together again. So ti's a good thing for her. Has been hard for me though. Tom was gone most of last week, working on a little island out in the middle of nowhere. The sort of place where you bring all your food with you because there isn't anything at all out there. So he wasn't home for the transfer. So this week is Thanksgiving. Tomorrow I run out to the airport to pick Bree up. Will just be us and all the girls this year as the boys are all off working the slope this week. I'm finding it very hard to get into the holiday spirit this year. If I didn't know there'd be mutiny I'd be tempted to skip the big dinner and all, as it is, we're doing things on Friday cuz the girls wanted to go do dinner at their grandparent's house on Thursday (and, surprise, their mother is going to be flying up to be there this year as well... Bailey was not thrilled and will not be going, Mattie wasn't keen either, but it was too late for her and she will be going anyway...) Going to keep things fairly simple though this year. Last night was the first good, solid night's sleep I've had in about 2 weeks. The waiting and not knowing was really messing me up, along with the stress of trying to get everything cleaned back up in time for this week. It's just hard though. I'm getting the room all ready for Christmas though, just in case we get another placement by then. I really hope we get an adoptable placement soon. I need that. Really. I need that.

Ok.. I swear I posted last month.. I know I did.. *sigh* anyway. It has been crazy and hectic and tear inducing. And, oh please let this be the end of it. So, last month we had H's caseworker come to do a home visit. I haven't actually had the time to clean the house since her arrival, so I was trying to get the worst of it taken care of. In doing so, I managed to wrench my back. So, massive amounts of pain. So needed to go see the chiropractor, so did not have time for it, because we had the home visit, then the next day we were having our septic tank pumped, and then I needed to take M to go get her eyes checked out and get new glasses. So it was basically a week before I was able to go and get my back taken care of. Then the usual massage therapist, whom I have seen since my accident in 2007, no longer works there, so saw a new guy, and youch! he dug deep and got everything worked out, but it took me 2 days to recover from the pain of that. Chiropractor was able to get me adjusted as well and over all, it was good, except that on the way home, the truck died on me.. *sigh* wound up being something simple and stupid, but we weren't able to get that sorted until it was towed home the next day.. I really wish that were the end of it.. Halloween afternoon, I got a call from the case worker, wanting to set up a visit with H's mom for later that afternoon. We get there and find out, after waiting 20 minutes, that mom doesn't have gas money and we need to go meet her. So we all haul over there for a quick visit, missing daddy's phone call for the evening, and half the things we'd planned for Halloween itself. Then we get home to find out that M had taken off with her sister into Anchorage for the evening, which was allowed, _IF_ she had finished her homework, which she hadn't, so she wasn't supposed to go. But since no one was home to enforce it, and she certainly wasn't going to tell her sister that she couldn't go.. so now M is grounded.. That's still not the end. Thursday morning, M comes up as everyone is getting ready for school/work, and informs us that the basement has flooded.. *sigh* so, Tom does what he can and ends up taking most of the day off from work.. and we eventually call the plumber.. we eventually wind up thinking we'd gotten everything taken care of... and we started the clean up... and things went well.. until Saturday. We were getting ready to leave for M's roller derby practice when the water sensor that Tom installed Thursday went off. so.. instead of going anywhere, I called the plumber again and we waited. They came and checked things again, and it was determined that the clog was out in the tank, and they couldn't reach it with the stuff they had on the truck. So today we went and rented the power auger and ran the lines ourselves.. *sigh* Hopefully we finally got everything settled and it will all behave itself now. I really don't think I can handle anymore stress. Today we also got a call from the caseworker letting us know that H will be moving, likely sometime this week, into a home with her siblings. We will be sad to see her go, but it will be good for her.

September update and NEWS!!

It has been a crazy, crazy month... Mattie is settling in and doing ok at school. She is having a few problems with some subjects, but that is always to be expected. And she is doing Junior Roller Derby. We took our 11 year old Jack Russell to the vet. We've had some suspicions about her health, and we were right. She has lymphoma cancer. Not much we can do for her but put her on steroids and wait. She is doing well on the meds, but it always an unknown, she could hold out for another year or two, or she could get worse and pass away in another month. The average survival is about 2 months from diagnosis. So we are waiting.. We've had lots of crazy weather.. Alaska does, in deed, have hurricanes. But they are usually in the middle of winter and it all falls as snow and we just call it a winter storm.. but this year they are coming early and we have had lots of rain and high winds, and more rain.. roads and railways have been washed out, homes flooded, power has gone off several times for everyone, and we are just very happy not to live closer to water. We are nice and high up enough that we don't have to worry about flooding. Though we do have worry about the roads. But, at the moment, things seem to have lightened up and we are, at least, between storm systems. And now for the really exciting news... After having our license for a month, and waiting, and waiting for a placement, Thursday I had a doctor's appointment in town and as soon as I walked in the door, there was a phone call from OCS calling to see if we would be available to take placement of a 3 year old girl. So, of course, I said yes and I went in Friday at noon to pick her up. We don't have a whole lot of information on her just yet. She is 3.5 years old and she has a younger sister and older brother also in foster care. They have been in foster care since last Monday and while at their emergency intake placement, she had been bullying her younger sister, so it was decided to separate her for the time being. (Of course, all new foster homes are limited to a maximum of 2 children in care at a time for their first year anyway, so there was no way we could have taken all 3 regardless..) She is very bright, already knows her letters and numbers and colors, full of energy.. of course, she's 3 so the word "no" is a favorite and we are having the usual "i'm tired but not going to take a nap/go to bed if i can avoid it" melt downs as we try to establish a schedule and all, but over all, the last 2 days have gone very well and we are excited to have her here. We don't know yet if this will be a short term or a long term placement. They are still trying to get in touch with family members to see if any of them could take her and/or any of her siblings. If so, she could go with them at any time. So we are trying not to get too attached or make any long term plans with her just yet, but it's so very hard.. lol.. and we're kinda doing it anyway :)

August..

Well, it has been an "exciting" month here. On or about the 26th of July (I can't really remember exactly, but I know it was right about then..) Tom's youngest daughter (age 13) informed us that she REALLY didn't want to go back to her mother's at the end of the summer. So much so that, if it came to it, she was going to refuse to get on the plane. We told her that she really needed to call her mother to discuss this with her, but she didn't want to do it right away and put it off.. of course she was going to camp the next week, so it wasn't until she got back on the 3rd that she got around to calling.. and there was much discussion.. and just this past Friday (the 10th) she got a verbal ok from her mother to stay for the school year. So now we are scrambling to get her ready for school, which starts this Thursday... Going to be LOTS of changes around here because of this... And the 18 year old has gone back to school, left on the 6th. This is her combo senior/sophmore year. At the end of this year she will be done with high school and have her associate's degree from college as well. Woohoo! But, that's not the only change going on... On the 28th of July, Tom got a phone call informing him that he was being laid off. *joy... sigh* This meant the postponement of Tom's planned trip to drive his motorcycle down to my mom's this fall so he could ride it around the lower 48 next summer. He was not happy about that. It also means a slight postponement in our plans to do foster care. But, we've got everything else we need done, so as soon as he gets a job lined back up, we can jump right on into that. He'd been looking to switch companies anyway, as things were not looking good with the company he was with, and it turns out he was right. They've been laying people off left and right there.. but, timing could have been better. He's been putting in applications left and right, and even had an interview this past week, so we're just waiting to hear back. It shouldn't be too long, but I'd certainly like it to be over with. :) I've got things to do and we have bills to pay. At least we have a very well stocked pantry and freezers so we have more then enough food storage. We've also got 2 great little pommies in dog foster right now. We picked them up about 4 weeks ago. Older pair, mother and son, 10 and 7 years old. Their owners passed away and the daughter had come in from out of state to take care of things and wasn't able to find them a home before she had to leave. So we took them in. I have to say, i am so very tempted to keep them myself.. lol.. but we already have 3 of our own, and our max is suppose to be 4... They were very overweight, the owner fed them "table scraps" almost exclusively, so it took a while to get them to adjust to kibble, but Emily is doing great and has already lost weight. She LOVES going on walks with Tom and just prances on leash. Petey is also a little chubby ball of love. He is very shy and stand offish and was VERY dependent on his momma the first week or so he was here, wouldn't go anywhere unless she went first.. He's now started to come around and he is just the sweetest little boy. He reminds us a LOT of our first pommie, Pepe. Both have been good with the 4 year old grand daughter, Emily especially. Petey takes some time to get use to people, but he does come around. Their previous owner did have them de-barked, which is rather sad. Makes them quiet, but that made it hard to hear them the first few days when they wanted out (they have since figured out the dog door..) So that's about where things are at this point. Crazy as usual. Hoping for news on the job front early this next week. Monday we will be running around getting M enrolled in school and hopefully get all that sorted. So, how has your month gone? :)

Home Inspection done!

Yesterday we had our inspection for foster care. I, of course, had spent the prior week getting the house as clean and tidy as I possibly could. Not the biggest concern in the inspection, but, it was something that everyone always does in the midst of the "will they think I'm good enough" panic. We passed with flying colors! We do need to build some steps under the basement windows to make them easier to access in an emergency but that will be easily done next week after Tom gets back. So I think we are set. Just have to wait for paperwork to clear, mostly Bree's dual state background check, and we will be off and running. Meanwhile, now we can start messing up the place again and get all of Mattie's stuff ready for girl's camp in 2 weeks. And maybe pick up another foster dog. I'm so very excited about things though. woohoo! :)

Crazy, Crazy..

Ok, noticed I've _really_ let this blog fall behind.. oops.. I swear it's been for a good reason.. more or less anyway.. In February we went in and signed up to start the process for foster care. Our plan is to eventually adopt via the foster care system. So please keep your fingers crossed for us there.. Anyway, we had some classes, lots of paperwork, background checks, more classes, etc.. and now we have our home inspection scheduled for July 10. That is the last thing we need before we can get a placement. So I will be busy this next week doing some cleaning and such to make sure the house is ready for that. We've also been fostering dogs still. That has been fun. I think last time I posted we had Ollie, or had just gotten him adopted out. We've had a few since then. We had Benji for nearly 2 months. He was a pappillon mix with a few health problems so it took a while to find him a good home. Then we got another peppy, Lucky. Didn't have him very long, only a week or two. Then we got Gifford. He was an older pommie that we only had for 2 days. If we'd had him longer, he might not have left.. lol he was a great dog. Then we had Jyll for all of 2 days before I had to send her back, she and Kikkoman just did NOT get along at all. Then we got Fuzzy. She just got adopted yesterday. She was another little pommie, only a year old though she behaved like a 6 -8 month old. Not her fault though, she spent her entire life inside a breeder's cage and had already had a litter herself. But she's got a great home now and should do well. Right now we are foster doggie free so I can concentrate on getting the house ready for inspection. The girls are up for the summer now. Bree's been here almost a month already and found a job. She's doing concrete finishing work. Keeps her busy but it pays well. Mattie is mostly doing computer art work with her time since she got up about 2 weeks ago, though this weekend she's over a Bailey's babysitting her niece. Progress has been made on our bed/bath remodel. Not as much as we might have liked, but it is coming along. We've got my closet in and, more to the yay, the tub is in!!! next we need to get the flooring in the bathroom area and then tear out the other closet and bedroom flooring so we can redo those, and build the bathroom cabinets. I think that's the "big" updates for what all has gone on in the last few months.

February updates

Well, lots have happened in the last few months. We have enjoyed doing doggie fostering. We have fostered 3 little boys so far, and wound up keeping one of them. The second little guy is a pommie (mix?? no one knows..) who had suffered abuse from his several past owners. He'd been sent to the pound twice. He had a lot of trust and behavioral problems, but you could tell that he really wanted to be a good boy, he just didn't know how. We've been working with him the last 2 months and he is already showing wonderful improvements, so, yay!
Christmas came and went. The girls were here and we all had a good time. I think they enjoyed their time here and the gifts they got this year.
And our big news is that we have decided to work with the state and are going to go through the foster to adopt system. We went to our first orientation meeting last week, and today we turned in the first round of paperwork, background information, and got our fingerprints taken, so now we start the first round of waiting. So glad to be finally moving forward on this. yay!

New additions..

And Now for an update from the ever so thrilling lives of Davina and co...
There have been some new additions to the family. My younger brother and his wife welcomed their 4th child, and first son into their home last month. yay, they finally got their boy. They named him after our father who passed away in 2003 and only ever got to meet my brother's oldest daughter and my step son.
And closer to home, we decided to do some fostering. We are fostering dogs. We got our first one in November. His name is Baxter, he's a mix of maybe 300 different terriers. He's a very sweet little boy, some minor separation anxiety but that has eased up a great deal already. He is a very people oriented boy though. And very much a terrier. Oh and only about a year old, so add "puppy" into that. lol
And today I brought home an approximately 4 yr old pom or pom mix. no one is quite sure. he looks full pom to me, but he's bigger then most, so he could be mixed with something that looks similar but is a bit bigger.. but my mom had one about this size that was full pom, so who really knows.. he's been here just over an hour now, and so far they are all getting along fairly well. Baxter is the main one following him around and likely the main one that might get into trouble with him since they both want attention and play time all the time, but, tomorrow I will theoretically have others in the house, and Monday for sure, for a few weeks so that will help. And even more hopefully, Baxter has started going to adoption clinics and he is sure to find a home fairly quickly, which is exactly what he needs.
But right now, I need to go bathe a dog and probably do some laundry or dishes or something, and certainly need to dig through recipes in preperation for the Christmas invasion.. Bree gets in tomorrow, Tom on Monday, and Mattie next Saturday and then just about everyone will be here. Except, of course, Dakota and that's only cuz no one knows where he's gone to and he's not talking to anyone these days. Silly boy.. ah well. On to bath time!

dang time sneaks up...

and I get busy and forget to take time to update this.. I've spent the last few months off and on busy, some at work, but mostly canning! I've bottled all sorts of things. I've pickled potatoes, turnips, beets and carrots. I've bottled carrots and apple pie filling and applesauce and beef broth. I've even bottled french fries! And I've been playing with some other gluten free recipes.
I've tried making naan bread for hubby, though so far we haven't found a recipe that works for him yet and is gluten free for me. I have got cheese crackers figured out well though, I can't seem to make them fast enough to keep up with hubby eating them! We're hoping to try a few more recipes this weekend. Maybe even the long awaited pretzels.
And I've been trying to get a blanket done for my new nephew, who should be born any week now..
A while back I let hubby convince me to go to a salon and got my hair cut and highlighted. It looks very nice, but I still cringe at the cost of it. I'm just too darn frugal.
I'm finally fairly recovered from Gobo's loss. I still have moments, but I'm not a complete basket case and don't burst in to tears at the thought. I'm toying with the idea of fostering dogs for one of the local rescues, but haven't decided for sure yet.
I have had a bit of a set back health wise, but we're pretty sure it's ok, just part of the normal process of making such 'drastic' changes to my diet and getting all the gluten out. Lots of long term things to get resorted and balanced back out. I have been very tired and just unenergetic for the last month or so, but this week I seem to be finally improving some. Sadly, that was just in time for a head cold.. *sigh* but there we are. lol
Adoption is still in holding pattern. Hubby's dr appt is taking forever since he's going through the VA. He finally got his first intro appt this month, but now we have to wait til next month for his actual appt with the doctor. Still hoping I can manage to get everything turned in by the end of the year though. That will be so nice to finally have done.
And we've made some progress with the remodel! Hurray! Not as much as we'd have liked, but money has just been too tight this year. But, we have gotten the closet completely walled in. I just need to caulk the corners and do some painting, and I can start getting the closet set up. Still need to do the flooring in there and get the bathroom itself done. We're hoping to get the drywall around the tub up before hubby goes back up this time.
Girls will be here for Christmas this year and we've got their tickets ready to go. Bree will get an entire extra week this time, which will be nice. Thanksgiving will be quiet this year though. No one will be here but me.. Bailey and her family will be doing stuff with her grandparents and aunt, so I get to have a quiet day of not much. Will still do some cooking, but not the whole shebang.. save that for Christmas. This will be our first major holiday since I've gone gluten free and I've got to make sure everyone is happy with the food so they can better understand that we don't have to miss out on anything even with my new diet. I don't think I'm missing out on much (cept maybe the convenience of lazy food.. and travel food.. travel food is hard.. eating out is ok, but limited here in Alaska..) and they need to feel that way too.
So, that's my update for now. Hopefully I won't get so behind again for a while.. :)

Gobo Update

My poor little boy didn't have as much time as any of us hoped he would. Sunday, July 31, 2011, Gobo passed away. He'd basically stopped eating Friday and wasn't drinking much on Saturday. He sat and stared at the wall for a bit and was very lethargic. I honestly didn't expect him to make it through the night, so was very happy when I got up Sunday morning and he was awake and alert. He followed me around most of the morning and early afternoon. I thought maybe he'd gotten a bit of energy from somewhere, but he still refused to eat or drink anything.
Then, shortly after 3 PM (I'd just texted with my husband to let him know Gobo was still hanging on...) his legs gave out on him. Based on how things had gone with Rocky 4 years ago, I thought we had a few more hours. I wrapped him up in a towel and his blanket so I could hold him for a while and he went limp on me but was still breathing; then he started coughing. I thought maybe he needed to stretch out more so I moved him onto the couch and he just kept coughing up blood for a minute or two; still had no control over his muscles, he was completely limp. He finally quieted down and then he just stopped breathing. He was gone. From the time his legs gave out to when he was gone, was about 15 minutes. 3:20 and he was gone.
He'd been my baby for 4 years and I've been completely devastated by his sudden loss. The girls were out camping with their sister and brother in law that weekend, and Hubby was still away at work far off up on the slope. I miss him and want him back. I had to put this post off until now because I just couldn't handle writing it. Honestly, I can barely handle it now. I still cry sometimes and keep calling the other dogs by his name. We've lost other dogs before, but his hit me hard.

Gobo

This past weekend my little baby, Gobo, was sick. he seemed constipated and eventually decided he really didn't want to eat. When we did get him to eat, he'd eventually just throw everything back up. So yesterday he and I went to see the vet. I was hoping they'd find a blockage or something that could easily be "fixed" though deep down, I suspected something more. We spent 3 hours there yesterday while they ran blood tests and tried to collect a urine sample to test that. Unfortunately, we got our answer. My poor little boy is dealing with kidney failure. He was born with several obvious birth defects and we always kind of wondered if there might not be some internal issues he'd eventually have to deal with as well. We never expected this, at least not his soon. He is 4.5 years old, barely out of puppyhood and kidney failure this severe and sudden is very uncommon for one so young. Because things have already progressed as far as they have, and as sudden as this all was (he really didn't seem at all sick or have any sudden changes in habits until this past weekend, though he has lost nearly 3 pounds since last year's visit..) there really isn't much we can do for him except wait and try to keep him comfortable. He has managed to keep some food down since yesterday, so that is good.
At this point we are just hoping that he can do ok and keep going for another 2 weeks at least. Tom would really like the chance to get to say good bye. The last 2 dogs we had that passed, both went while he was away and very suddenly. This time we at least have warning and can prepare, though that just means my grief has already started to set in. They figure he probably has a few weeks, maybe even a few months. Any treatment we could do would be very expensive and, even then, maybe only give him an extra month or two, if it did anything at all.
I really do wish there were more we cold do for him, but at this point, there just isn't. The numbers from his tests were insanely high, several were well beyond the parameters, they were literally off the charts.
I'm loosing my baby and it's tearing me to pieces..

Tom's Crazy Suit

I forgot to mention in my last post, so it's it's getting it's own, and perhaps it needs it...

Last week we were browsing through a local thrift store for sweaters and other things for a few projects, when Tom found a suit, well, he found 2 suits, one a very shiny brown that fits him nicely and the other, well, it kind of defies explanation. It also fits him well, though I needed to replace the buttons and still need to hem it properly. Any way, this second suit was only $5.50 which knocked it into the "OK, we HAVE to get this and embarrass the kids with" range..

As you can see, it is also very shiny. And off white. And plaid. He decided to go with his purple shirt and tie because the outfit needed some color. We will likely be getting several more brightly colored shirts to go with this thing.


He did wear this to Church last Sunday, with the boyfriend who was visiting and we still didn't seem to manage to scare him off. We've told Tom he needs a hat to go with this suit to really finish it off. I did replace all the gold buttons (some were missing anyway) with silver ones and we didn't have time to hem it, so it was just pinned up, but I will need to do some hemming on this, as the pant legs were extremely long. The whole things seems to be made of polyester and was made in Korea. And is now a proud member of Tom's closet where he will be making all sorts of use out of it. Future weddings, halloween costumes, formal events, whatever he can come up with, I am sure.

4th of July

Ok, it has been a crazy month so far. Girls are here, and Tom is home, yay! Bree's boyfriend came up from Washington to visit us for a week and was here for the 4th. Most of his week here was spent with Bree dragging him all over the state, but for the 4th, we had a relatively quiet day at home. Bailey, Caleb and Gaia came over, as did our defacto substitute son Chris, so the whole gang was pretty much over. Tons of food was had (I made the BEST slow cooker boneless short ribs, and we grilled chicken and moose steaks and burgers for the younger ones who wanted burgers, plus there was pickled potato salad, baked potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, quinoa salad, several kinds of mini pies and a cake. Then Bailey brought masked potatoes and biscuits. Everything except the biscuits and the burger buns was Gluten Free and so yummy. We still have tons of left overs and they are still so very, very good....) and we followed it up with a game of Risk. I actually won, which was a first. I haven't played it too often, but everyone was surprised, especially since I started with basically just basing myself in Europe. Apparently that's not usually successful.. worked for me though, so, yay!
No fireworks for us this year, apparently all the big shows had been the night before and outside of the shows, fireworks are illegal in most of the state due to risk of fire. Not to mention it really doesn't get dark enough in the summer in the part of the state we're in. It would be like most of the lower 48 wanting to set them off at 4 to 5 PM, so we just never bother with them. The big shows up here are for New Year's.
Our guest seemed to enjoy his time up here, and seems a decent sort of fellow. He certainly fits right in with our variety of insanity.

In other news, my garden is doing very well. I've pulled a few squash out already, and the pumpkins are just started blooming. My bell peppers are going like crazy, and I've got a fair number of little tomatoes started, and the jalapenos are starting to go crazy as well. We've pulled the first carrot, which wound up being a LOT shorter then we expected, but was still very good. And the peas.. oh those were good, so sweet.. it will be hard letting them all sit out there while we wait for enough to do anything with to get ready. I could so easily just go eat them right out of the pods..

And my brother has announced that, at long last, they are expecting a boy. He's got 3 girls out of nearly 10 years of marriage and they are finally having a boy. They've been trying for a boy forever and have had several miscarriages, so this is exciting news for them. My new little nephew will be due later this fall.

June!

Ok, May sucked. Shortly after posting last we found out that my youngest step daughter had been hospitalized. We still aren't sure what actually was going on. (the perils of step kids living out of state and an ex who won't tell you anything...) We heard that she was on IV antibiotics for infection, but no one knew what kind. There was talk of kidney failure and other things. She was in the hospital for about 4 days and then sent home. As far as we know, all is back to normal and well. We will hopefully be able to get better details once the girls are here.
Mom's surgery went well. They think they got it all and her test all came back clear. She goes in next week for her pre-radiation consultation and then will start 6 weeks of radiation therapy. She is in great spirits though and doing well.
As for my gluten test, well, I don't know if it was effected by not being on gluten long enough or what, but the test showed I was negative for celiac. That really doesn't matter to me though. Just doing that gluten challenge was enough to verify intolerance for me, even if it isn't (yet) celiac and I am back off the stuff for good! I am so much better, healthier and happier.
My garden is doing great this year. I've got squash! And peas and it looks like I've got carrots! We've never had any luck with carrots before. The pumpkins and watermelons are still growing and we're hopeful for them this year as well. Indoors, we had a bit of a fight with aphids (where, oh where, did they come from?!?!) but it looks like I won. My peppers and tomatoes are doing well as are my herbs. I will have to work on getting pictures posted in here one of these days. I have at least 3 little baby tomatoes. They are fully crowding my windows already so it's hard to get a good count until they get bigger, and maybe red, but there are some showing up.
Girls will be here soon, and this year we've got a brave boyfriend coming to meet the folks and check Alaska out as well, so that will be interesting.

May sucks

May has not been a fun month. I decided to go back on gluten so I could do some preliminary blood testing. Almost immediately I started getting sick again. I have felt so miserable the last 2 weeks. Last weekend we went and signed up at the gym, too. This will be a good thing, but right now I feel so terrible I can't do much and what I can do makes me feel nearly dead. I have been so very very tired and sore and, quite honestly, moody. I'm back to bottomed out where I have to plan everything I do and any little surprise can completely ruin my day and my mood. I hate it. This is not me and I was so much better for the 3 months I was off gluten. I already decided that, regardless of what they blood test says (which might not be entirely accurate anyway since I've been off it for 3 months and only back on for a few weeks..) I will be going 100% gluten free forever more.
Then, 2 weeks ago I got an email from my mother. She had gone in for her annual mammogram and they found a "shadow" and wanted to do a biopsy. That was done and they sent her right off to a specialist and she is now scheduled for surgery to remove the tumor and test lymph nodes, etc to make sure the cancer hasn't spread. We are all hoping that this was caught early enough that the surgery (and then about a month later she will start radiation for a few weeks) will catch it all and we can be done with this... I worry, however, as I know she's already got autoimmune problems because of her MS.
Anyway. So I'm stressed out and feeling horrible and I decided I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm done with gluten. (Ok, will be officially done tomorrow since I've already planned tomorrow's dinner and would be difficult to convert at this point..) So this afternoon I took the test. (It was an at home self test from a company in Canada. I had to import it via my mom in Idaho because for some reason, Canada doesn't want to ship to Alaska...) It is suppose to be fairly accurate, but, you have to have been on a "normal" gluten-filled diet, and having been off gluten for 3 months and only back on for a few weeks, I might not have built up enough anti-bodies yet. I had planned to be on for 3 weeks, but I really just couldn't take it anymore.. I tested negative for celiacs. But that doesn't mean I don't have it. There are various levels of reaction and I might not be damaged enough yet to actually be positive. (It is, sadly, one of those illnesses that many doctor's don't acknowledge until serious permanent damage is done to your intestines, and sometimes not even then..) Anyway, I know I have some level of gluten syndrome. The HUGE massive difference in my health, energy levels, emotional stability, etc between when I'm on gluten and when I'm off of it.. it really is amazing. I'm sure that if I left things alone and kept eating gluten I'd eventually get damaged enough to be considered fully celiac, but, seriously, why should I have to?
Doctors don't tell people to keep eating sugar and we won't treat you or ask you to change your diet until you're diabetic, why should celiacs be any different?
Just making the decision to stop the gluten test has lifted my spirits and improved my mood. I've had too many dizzy spells, too much weakness, too many aches and pains everything else. I am so looking forward to feeling better again.
And hopefully my mom will get good news next week, too.

1 week

I've been back on gluten for one week now. I hate it. Everything that had slowly gone away the last three months, things I'd never even noticed or put together to link with this.. all of it has come back and I hate it. I've been making a list of everything as it comes back, because, this time, I'm noticing. The list is very long, nearly fills 2 columns in my steno notebook/diary. The worst are the lack of energy, the loss of coordination, the fuzziness of mind, clouded thinking, inability to remember things I know I should know, the aches, the pains, the emotional roller coaster..
I know I need to be back on this stuff for several weeks before I can do blood work, but, honestly, I'm this close to calling it quits. I know that, regardless of what ever the tests say, I am never eating gluten (knowingly) again unless there is some serious life or death thing going on.. cuz it is not nice to me at all.
And, honestly, I've used this as a chance to splurdge a smidge and have all of those "oh no, I'll never have ______ again" foods I first worried about, and I've been surprised, they just really didn't taste as good as I'd remembered them being.. Ok, a few things still are, but, for the most part, I was loosing my taste for them, so that will be good for me. If I survive this challenge anyway.
At least Hubby is home now to help out while I slowly fall back to pieces. And he's already told me that he wants the "new, gluten free" me back, and he's only been home a day now.. so this will help encourage him to support me in this, and maybe I can use that support to help get him eating better when he's home, too.

Back on wheat - for now..

Well, I've decided I need to do some testing to maybe confirm this whole celiac thing. I've found a home test kit that I can order and do myself for much, much less then I can at the doctor's office.. so I'm going back on wheat for a few weeks then will take the test. If it gives me a positive result, I will be discussing biopsy options for later this year with my doctor. Though, honestly, I'm pretty sure that I have it. It just, seriously, makes too much sense. And if the doctors are willing to make do with blood tests, then maybe I won't need the really pricey biopsy (and 3 months back on wheat before that test...) I will also likely be contacting one or two of the local labs around town to see if any of them will run some other blood tests for me to get it all official and in my charts, etc.
But, it means that right now, I'm back on wheat. Tonight was my first jump back in. I've decided that I'm mostly going to stick with only doing wheat in the evenings, and see how that goes. I want to still be able to function during the day and all. I've been pleasantly surprised this evening, in that I haven't reacted nearly as badly as I have in the past when I've had accidental dosings. This is actually a good thing, as it shows that my intestinal tract has been healing somewhat in the 3 months I've been off of it. Things are coming back though, just slower and not as intensely as I expected. Haven't had the headaches yet, though the body aches are starting to creep back in, and there was some straight up nausea and bloating after about half an hour. Thankfully those seem to have subsided again. It's going to be a long couple of weeks, and part of me really hates that I'm doing this to myself. But, must get an actual answer about all of this. Either way, if not needed for testing, I'm going to be going and staying gluten free. The testing and medical confirmation would be nice, as it will allow me to claim some of the extra costs of going gluten free as medical claims, but, honestly, I personally already know that this is the answer I've needed. This lies at the root of everything (or nearly) that I've been having problems with for years. I've been doing a lot of reading, and a lot of symptom tracing and I know when things started to get bad, I know that all of this is linked, and I know that it's all connected to problems with gluten. If I've got celiacs or if I'm just gluten intolerant, that doesn't matter. I have my answers, and I have hope for a lot of things now that I'd more or less given up on. Now I just have to convince my doctors :)

National Infertility Awareness Week

If you weren't aware, it is National Infertility Awareness Week. Hurray!
This week we have been challenged as bloggers dealing with infertility to post a bit about our struggles and the myths that surround infertility. The things everyone tells us that don't help and eventually grate on our nerves. (We know you mean well, but, please, telling us to relax or go on vacation or stop trying and then it will happen, really don't help one little bit...)
The myth I've chosen to write about is the old phrase, "Well, you can always just adopt, there are tons of babies out there just waiting." This is kind of a two parter.
Firstly, there aren't millions of babies out there in limbo just waiting to be adopted. If there were, the process would likely be a lot easier then it is. These days, especially, more and more unwed women tend to chose to parent their children. Society has accepted that as a viable option and it works for many of them. The kids who are waiting in the foster system tend to be older or have medical problems that make them hard to place. Many couples dealing with infertility do eventually take in these children, but it is a tough decision and takes time. Like every other couple, they have their dreams of the perfect little newborn, and that can be a very hard thing to give up on. And no child was ever unwanted. Adoption is a tough decision made by the birth mother because she loves her child and wants to give it the best possible chances in life.
Secondly, adoption is in no way easy, quick, or cheap. Depending on what options and agencies you work with, it can take months or years just to get through the paperwork and approval stage. Then there is the waiting. Once approved, you have 3 years in which to hope you are picked. After that, you have to start the paperwork over again for reapproval. And the fees.. thousands of dollars for paperwork and home studies and legal fees and adoption costs, and the finger printing, and medical visits.... it adds up to some pretty hefty sums, and that's just domestic! If you go international add in travel costs, sometimes for weeks or months in a different country, sometimes multiple visits. Then there is the invasive nature of the whole thing. There is no promise that just because you can fill out paperwork and have money that you will be approved. You are left feeling that you are at the mercy of total strangers who will come in and poke and prod at your life, your home, everything, then they get to decide if you are "good enough" to go on the waiting list to be parents.
It can be hard to do, to give up that level of control. You worry that maybe you're not good enough, your house isn't clean enough.. all on top of already feeling like a failure because your body doesn't work right in the first place or you wouldn't have this problem, and you've probably been poked and prodded medically in the diagnosis phase and maybe even tried ivf or something a time or two (again, very pricey treatments that insurance doesn't always cover..)

I'm pretty fortunate. We knew early on that we'd have fertility issues. Hubby'd had a vasectomy near the end of his first marriage, so that was going to cause problems anyway. So we knew going in that we'd either have to adopt or seek assistance. Then we found out about my problems. They weren't a total shock. I'd often suspected there was something going on. And the first few years were just full of all sorts of changes and adjustments anyway.. Married, moved 3000 miles, suddenly had 4 step kids, 2 of them teenagers. We didn't have much money, so I did a lot of reading. About step kids, and infertility and adoption. It helped prepare me for when we started the whole process in 2006. We'd just started on the paperwork with LDSFS, which was a difficult tango because they didn't have an office up here so we were working with them from out of state, when my husband suddenly felt that the timing wasn't right and called it off. I was very upset with him because he couldn't give me an answer as to why. This was early 2007. In August of that year I was in a car accident that took most of a year to recover from, so there was a reason.. then in 2008 we started talking about it again and had to postpone, yet again, because he was going to be deployed. Last year we decided that now was the time and started up again. We've just about got our paperwork ready to turn in (just need hubby's doctor visit and fingerprinting - and this year's tax info..) This time we decided to go with a local agency. There aren't many in the state, but we are going with Catholic Social Services in Anchorage. Hopefully we will be on our way to approval by the end of the year. That would be nice. That would be lovely. Then we just have to work on our profile and hope a birthmother out there likes us.
Meanwhile, I'd better go clean my house :)


If you'd like to know more about infertility or awareness week or RESOLVE (the organization behind this challenge) please check out these web sites: infertility 101 and take charge