Update on depression

*hugs* and thanks to all my friends who have talked to me about this. Figured I'd go ahead and update how things are going for me.
Most days I'm perfectly fine. I'm pretty much just getting physical symptoms and not too many of the emotional ones. Most days I don't even have too many of those, at least not at any level that interferes with daily life. I know how lucky I am in this. I know that depression can be really rotten and part of me feels I shouldn't even be using the word to describe what I'm dealing with because I'm not really that bad off, and I don't want people to think that depression is a "light" thing.
But until a better term is created, I have to use it. Anyway, as said, most days I'm fine. If I have any "emotional" problems, it's really more along the lines of being overly tired and emotionally "blah," disconnected a little and unmotivated. Mostly though it's physical. I ache, I get tired. I've gotten somewhat use to some pains, since my car accident I usually have pain in my lower back and hips, I've gotten use to that, but on my "bad" days that pain, even at it's worse, isn't much of anything compared to the pain I get in the rest of my body. And the headaches aren't much fun either.
Today started as a good day, but has slowly devolved into a not so good day.. still not bad enough to be a "bad" day, but it really could be better. But, I have many more good days then I have bad days. And, like I said, this is pretty much situational, part of the coping process of dealing with everything that went down last year. It's never easy to come to terms with that fact that you could have died, but I'm getting there, and I am getting better.
But thanks all. It's very nice to know I've got support out there.

depression...

I've been having a few problems lately so popped over to webMD.. I can cause myself so very much trouble over there.. but, at the same time, it has helped me in the past, so I went again. I've been having minor memory lapses and trouble sleeping and been a bit more clumsy then usual and all and, due to some things I'd been reading and seeing on TV, I was starting to worry I might have some sort of neurological problem..
Scary thought, but, given my family history, not entirely out of the question.. So I wanted to see what they might have to say before I started calling doctors in a panic :)
Based on what I plinked out in the symptom checker, and eliminating the obviously non applicable.. the 2 that stood out as likely candidates were MS (also a real concern, my mom has it, so that could raise my odds..) or Depression.....
Depression is such a big scary word anymore, but one I'd been down before a time or two so I was happy to see it there, and, really, it makes sense. I'm finally getting the chance right now to process all of everything that went on last year. All that stress and fear has finally been released and is screwing with me now. All the fears and stress of Tom's separation during his deployment, even though it was to a "safe" zone. All the stress of having to deal with the reoccurring basement floods, the busted water heater, the broken septic line. The worry over how to pay for everything that kept going wrong. All the stress and fear over all my own health problems last year. The realization that I kept putting off and blocking out, that yes, I really could have died last year if we hadn't caught everything when we did, and even then, it was a close call. Even the happy stress of his homecoming, and the kids coming for Christmas, and the older kids moving home and bringing the grand baby.. All of it has taken a toll and it got put on lay a way.. but now it has all come due and is hitting me like a ton of bricks.
It will pass. Now that I am once again reassured by WebMD that it is most likely just depression and not the end of the world (though if things don't improve in the next month, there may still be panicked calls to doctors..). As mentioned, I've been through this before.. Way back when in college, I had a really bad year. I'd been under a good deal of stress anyway, and then people started dying. A cousin was killed in a car accident, 2 friends each lost their mothers, several other more distant relatives passed away, and one of our dogs died. At some point I just got to where I couldn't deal with it anymore and had to take some time off from school. I tried antidepressants at that time, and really decided that they didn't work for me. I didn't feel any better, I just felt numb. So I didn't take them. I just went on. I worked through the grief, through the pain, and learned how to move on.
I'm better at that now. It may be hard at times, but I will manage, always do :) The fact that my mind has decided that now is the time I can handle this process means that life is pretty much back to what passes for normal around here.