uhm.. not my fualt.. I swear....

Ok, really, this last big gap was not my fault... at least not entirely.
Early last month, the fan in my computer died.. but I didn't know it, at least not at first.
Then the system started overheating and it would shut itself down, which was really my first clue that something was wrong.. but, it was just a fan, no problem, I've changed fans before, heck, we've built several machines from spare bits over the years, so there shouldn't have been any problems..
except, apparently there were.. Somewhere in the mess of all this, the dead fan caused some sort of fatal error and seemed to have fried my motherboard or some such.. anyway, the computer was dead. Dead, dead, dead....
*sigh*
I got by for a little while using my step daughter's computer and my husband's really old laptop (ie really really slow..) But I really needed a new computer, so we started looking and hoping to find something. I was in town for some National Guard stuff and, as luck would have it, Best Buy was having a really great sale on something that would do for me. Not top of the line, not as expandable as I'd have liked, but it would do, and I could afford it on the small budget I had to work with. So I brought it home, hooked it up and hoped for the best.
It ran Vista, so hoping was for a lot of things. I really like XP, I don't recall ever getting the blue screen of death with XP, however, I got very, very familiar with it again that first week after bringing home my new computer...
After a week and a half, I'd had enough. The stupid thing was just terrible. Apprently I'd gotten a really bad install as all it did was crash, crash, crash, and crash some more. Eventually it got itself stuck in a bootloop that I couldn't get it out of so I just boxed the whole mess back up and took it back to the store. Thankfully they exchanged it with no problem and the new NEW computer has worked just fine.
So now I'm trying to piece things all back together. My old hard drive seems to have survived (though odd things seem to have disappeared from my bookmarks folder when I moved that over...)

And, in other news.. we actually have an expected return date... yay!!!! I'm still not supposed to give out "too much information," but I think I can safely say that he will in fact be home before Thanksgiving :)

yikes!

I didn't realize it had been so long! Lots of things have happened this summer. Okay, mostly lots of doctor's appointments keeping me busy and all, but, stuff has happened.. :)
Oldest step daughter came to visit with the grandbaby. The three of them were here for about a week. Was good to see them all, the baby has grown so much! Can't wait to see them again next spring.
The girls have been here all summer as well. They've been running around all crazy, dyed their hair, had sleep overs, played games.. all the usual stuff. They had fun and we all hate that they have to go back this weekend.
As mentioned, I've had lots of appointments this summer, but it seems we have finally figured out what is wrong with me this year :) (Ok, has been wrong for years, just got worse this year...) I have SEVERE sleep apnea. Docs aren't sure how I ever got any sleep at all, it was that bad. 5 sleep disturbances an hour is "normal".. I had 130 +.. so apparently i've only been power napping in short bursts of less then 30 seconds at a time... no wonder I've always been so tired and never had any energy.. They wonder how I ever functioned at all.. This is apparently something that has been on going for years and years and has just progressevely gotten worse and has given me really high blood pressure, an enlarged heart, cause weight gain, and really a whole slew of other problems.
It is now being treated. I have a nice little cpap machine that I use at night to help me get actual sleep and I just love the thing. I noticed a difference the first night, and now at just over 2 weeks with it, I have energy again. I can do "normal" tasks without getting winded or wanting to take a nap all the time. It's just great. I can't wait to see how things will feel after I've been on it a while. If I'm lucky, there is a chance I could eventually come off of most, if not all, of my meds eventually. But i'm just happy right now to be finally sleeping and getting some energy back. I should be able to finally start loosing weight again too (yay!!)
Did I mention that I love my cpap macnine?? :)

latest update... progress

Well, probablly should have done this a few days ago, but i came down with a nasty head cold right about the same time as I got results back from the blood tests, so things got delayed.. though updates were somewhat sent out elsewhere..
anyway.. blood test show everything is more or less fine. I have plenty of iron receptors in my blood, the iron just hasn't been sticking for some reason. My numbers were up and I am now at the very low end of normal.. but "normal" is much improved from where I was, so I am continuing with the iron suppliments. My blood pressure was better, but still not quite where they wanted it, so they've tinkered with that some, and the last reading I just took was 107/67.. pulse is a bit high at 105, but i've been doing a lot of coughing (thanks to that head cold..) so will see how that goes in the next day or two as the coughing clears up. Nothing in the tests give any indication as to what caused any of this. Chest x-ray confirmed that my heart is slightly enlarged, which could be caused by the high blood pressure, or could have caused the high blood pressure.. or.. well, it's one of those evil circular things... gotta figure out what started the whole mess..
I have an echo cardiogram scheduled for the 29th and hopefully that will shed some light.. after that, will likely have a sleep study done as well.. just going to be the summer of tests for me this year :)
but otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good. I know now that there really is a reason for me to feel tired, so don't push through it like i was, am willing to go take a nap if i need to, and because of that, I'm feeling better, am sleeping through the night again now and have actual moments of real energy! :) Still not willing to do anything too hard yet, but I am starting to get there. Light exercise has been allowed back into my routine, in small doses, which is about all I can take right now anyway before i wear out.. but it's a start.. (ok, one i've been forced to take more times then I would like the last few years... but, there we are...)
and while this whole mess has pretty much put an end to some dreams (IVF in the next few years is definately out, and not likely to even be an option beyond that..) it at least has provided some answers to a few things and was caught in time to keep me around for a good deal longer, which will be even more important for the whole adoption process.

ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION...

... Cuz things may not be meaning what you thought they meant....

Ok, so as mentioned previously, I'd injured my hip. I made an appointment for last Monday with my chiropractor to have that worked on.. I've seen him twice now and hip seems to be more or less all better, I go in again next week to make sure...

But, Sunday at church, I was in a good deal of pain and asked for a Priesthood blessing. In this blessing I was told a few things. Most important to this story is this: That I was definately in need of medical assistance, that that if I wanted to improve, I would have to follow the doctor's orders carefully. This seemed a bit of overkill for the hip, but things then started to worry me... I started going all paranoid that there was something else wrong that I wasn't seeing. Well, at me second appointment yesterday with my chiropractor, this cough i've been having for a while popped in and it was brought to my attention just how long i've had the thing and that i should see someone for it..

There was the nudge I needed to understand the blessing, so this morning I called a local doctor's office and made an appointment. Managed to get in this morning, which really shocked me, but has turned out to be a very good thing.

The good news... I'm alive.. and moving and alert.. these are all apparently options for not happening...

Turns out that I'm seriously anemic (as in why havne't I started turning blue aorund the edges yet??) my blood ox level is down right around where they start passing out O2 tanks, and my bloos presure is up near stroke levels.. so... I was sent home with a slew of meds to take and am to go back in a week to see if anything is helping.. once we get all of this under control then we can start digging for a cause. It is possible that this is just some nasty cyclical thing in response to the local volcano, and we're really hoping for that one.. at least I am.. as it would mean that once we get that cycle broken, this will all go away and I won't need all these extra meds.

This does at least explain why I haven't been able to loose weight though.. at least somewhat... so I suppose that's a good thing. the knowing why that is...

Anyway.. any and all good thoughts, prayes, positive energy vibes, etc that anyone wants to send my way would be greatly apprechiated.

grouse on the nature of pain

ok.. I will admit it now.. I'm a bit medicated at the moment...
I'd been having problems sleeping for a while anyway, probably due to stress, who knows...
But I'd gotten through that lousey bout of insomnia and was getting back to a fairly normal routine.. and then the pain returned...
I've apparently been doing more then I should be doing, but really don't have any choice but to do cuz it's got to get done sort of stuff and had managed to get my back and shoulders all knotted up.. and then earlier this week I managed to do something very painful to my lower back and left hip.. apparently my hip has slipped a bit out of place or something.. I do have an appointment with my chiropractor on Monday, which I am very much looking forward too (and hoping the lady who does the massages is in and has time to fit me in as well....)
Tuesday I had some errands to run and wound up coming home in tears from the pain in my hip.. thankfully it has settled down and isn't nearly as painful now. Now it's just a low grade dull ache that is almost worse as it tends to just sap strength long term, so I am absolutely beat and tired well before the day is out, but have to try to prevent napping or i have even more trouble sleeping at night... and i've enough trouble there all on my own, thanks all the same...
*sigh*
hoping I can pin someone down at church and get a blessing, that would be great...
right now anything would be good.. i'm really really tired right now, but am finding it very hard to get comfortable enough to actually get to sleep. i took some ibus and half a sleeping pill earlier, so hopefully those will all kick in soon and knock me out...
*sigh*

Moose on a school yard

Ok, so earlier this week there was an incident at a local middle school involving some students and a young bull moose. The local media and school would tell you that it was 2 children throwing small pebbles and sticks at a sick moose which then fell over and died and the teachers were just right behind the kids and put an end to it immediately..

This is a lie. I have heard from one who knows more about what happened that there is a bit of a cover up going on. Here is what I understand of the situation: 3 PE classes were let out without anyone checking the grounds for moose, which are common this time of year and it is common practice to check for them before letting kids run loose. This was not done. The kids were supposed to be running laps, some of them were. Most of the students were doing more or less what they should have been doing. But there were many who were not. And teachers were not a mere "minute or two" behind the children. I have heard that they were left basically unattended for upwards of 20 minutes.

The moose was loose in one side of the yard and after initially being startled by the kids (with the rocks and the sticks..) it charged towards one of the kids who was running laps. This child, and others could have been seriously injured or killed. But the moose got caught in the fencing. He thrashed around so badly that he got his antler caught and eventally ripped one of them out of his own head. Even this was not enough for these children, however, as they continued to torment it. (Others did go off to look for teachers at some point.) The moose then threw itself severa times against another fence or building until it died. It's death has been ruled "winter kill" (a common thing up here in early spring when young moose who haven't had enough food over the winter just die off at random...) and the "next in line" for the moose kill list were called and the moose was butchered for food there on the play ground.

This moose well may have been sickly due to poor diet, and may well have eventually died on it's own. But it might also have lived if it hadn't had to deal with the torment and torture it went through that day. There were supposed to have been 3 teachers out in the yard with the kids that day. They were not providing the proper supervision for these kids. It is my understanding, as mentioned, that these kids were basically unattended for about 20 minutes. That is enough time for all sorts of things to go wrong. These kids received a "talking to" and the "2 ringleaders" have apparently been suspended, though who knows for how long.

Part of me really hopes that the information I have is wrong. But most of me knows that, if anything, it's only missing details that would make me cry even more. If these kids can do this, be part of this on the school yard, what are they doing that we don't know of yet? These kids have been taught for years that if you see a moose, you go the other way, slowly and carefully. Moose can kill. And they are hunted in the wild by pack animals.. so a pack of kids is just as scary for the moose and it's instincts are going to kick in and make it that much more dangerous.
It's very sad that this sort of thing could happen...

yay plumbing!!

Well, at long last, we finally got the septic pipe fixed this morning!! I am so happy and relieved.. now I can go back to a "normal" routine.. doing laundry and dishes and showers and everything without having to plan ahead and worry that the basement would flood again... now I can finally get to work on getting the basement cleaned up and ready for summer and kids running around all over the place.
now I just have to get hold of the kids' mom so i can actually make plans for them... i can never get through on the phone line and she's not replying to emails... makes me very suspicious... *sigh*

April's news

wow.. it's been a month...
Well, for starters.. I did get the Library job.. woohoo.. am just loving being back at work in a library. I'm working part time and on call, so my hours vary from week to week, but it's enough for me right now.
We've also had one of the local volcano's go off.. it's been spewing smoke and ash off an on for several weeks now, and could very well continue like this for months.. I'm not too happy with that.. While we haven't had much ashfall here (yay!!) it is still putting out enough gases and other junk into the air that I (and anyone else with any sort of respiratory issue..) am having a lot of trouble breathing some days. Really hating that part... It also played a lot of havoc with the local airport.. lots of flights were canceled and mail shipments were also canceled. So things have been a bit of a mess for anyone trying to get in or out of Alaska, or sending anything through any of the local mail hubs..
And we found out what was wrong and causing all the problems we've been having with our septic system.. A pipe has detatched from the tank and has to be reattached, so we're just waiting now until we can get the yard dug up and that can be fixed. Meanwhile, we're just really careful about water usage. Should be able to get that taken care of soon though as it seems we finally have spring on the way, snow is melting and the yard might actually be visable, and digable.. That will be great.
And soon I will be buying airline tickets for the girls to come up for the summer.. yay!! While they won't have their dad to torment and tease this summer, I know they are still looking forward to coming up and we'll have the web cam and everything set up so they should be able to have some day to day contact with him... we've got a few things planned for that..
Some friends of mine sent me a book last month, in honor of my new job. Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson. Really fun book. I ordered a second copy of it (since none of the local book stores had a copy..) and am mailing that to Tom.. so we can read it with the girls this summer.
And our poor little Gobo.. (our 2 year old pomeranian..) took him to the vet last month because he was having some really odd symtems.. he was loosing his undercoat, really itchy, skin all read and hot, off and on fever.. It seems the poor little guy is having an allergic reaction to something, though we havent' been able to figure out what.. Haven't really been any changes to diet or environment, so we don't have any idea what triggered it, but it has to run it's course.. he's lost most of his undercoat and still loosing what little he has left. Most of the time he's ok, but once in a while he'll go all itchy and squirmy, his fever pops up once in a while.. but, he gets some children's benedryl and things seem to settle back down for a while.. Just have to keep an eye on him and check back later if things don't improve after a while.. He just can't have an easy life... (lol at least not according to him... life is so hard for all of our little pooches... plenty of food, daily treats, lots of soft places for their 20 hours or so of daily napping during the winter.. ya know.. all that stuff that makes life so hard for spoiled little doggies...)

anyway, that's pretty much where things are at for now..

the joys of job hunting..

Ok, so I've been looking at getting back in the work force since December. I've been lucky enough til now to be able to stay home and take care of husband, dogs, and, when there, the step-kids. Hubby deployed at the start of December, however, and with that, his income drastically decreased. We've still got enough to squeak by, but just barely, and, well, kids tend to want things (like airfare to come visit and then expect to be fed and entertained and such.. not to mention the necessary bribes to get them to do things like help around the house and mow the lawn and all.. and if they don't do it, I need to pay someone to mow since, due to allergies, I can't...) S0 I decided to look for work, at least part time. Just something to bring in a little extra cash (ok. loads of extra cash would be nice.. but, right now, not likely...) and get me out of the house once in a while. I mean I love it at home, it's very quiet here with just me and the dogs.. but.. well, if we keep that up too much, I might start seeing patterns in the wood paneling or the stripes on the wall paper in the girls' room (it's not yellow, but you never know..)
So I've been looking for work..
Thus far, things have been very... off putting.. I have been told time and time again that I'm over qualified to work at Sears or Wal-mart or the grocery stores or anything.. I mean, yeah, I have a degree, obviously such jobs might not be my first choice, but, like many others right now, sometimes a job is a job, and since I was just looking for something part time, even temporary, I hardly think that this sort of thing is really at issue... And all the office positions I've applied for have either completely ignored me, or, well, I did actually get one rejection letter.. so at least they thought well enough of me to send a rejection. And don't even get me started on the garbage I got told at the employment agency I went to...
Anyway.. A few weeks ago I was looking though the job postings online and saw two that sounded like they'd give ma a shot... both of them were on-call positions. The first was with what use to be called the secritary pool with the bourough (not sure what they'd call it today..) and the second was with the local library. I applied for both. Last week I got a card from the bourough saying they had received my application and would be doing interviews over the next 3 weeks and they might call me... Then Monday, I got a call from the City asking if I could come in Wednesday morning to interview for the library position.. Of course I went. I was the first interview they were doing and the first for that day, bright and early at 8 am.. interview went pretty well and they said they'd try to have a decision by the end of the week and they'd call me later.
Went away thinking things had gone well and that maybe I'd hear something Friday afternoon, maybe even not til Monday. Well, this morning at 11 am I got a call from them offering me the job. woohoo!!! After 10 long years, I'm back to working in a library. It may not be steady work right now, but it's a toe back in the water and a foot in the door if something more opens up. I'm working on-call, which pretty much means that I only really go in if someone goes on vacation or calls in sick or they get really busy and need another body. I go in Monday to do all the paperwork and Tuesday I start training, then, who knows.. I may sit around at home for weeks, but, it's a start. And I am very, very happy about it. (as is hubby who was chatting with me at the time they called, which was really nice)
So now I've got to go brush up on the dewey decimal system again :)

Update

Ok, well, Hubby has been at his final military destination for over a week now. He's getting settled in and accustomed to his new surroundings.
And things seem to have finally settled back down at home for the moment. YAY!!! It's nice to have a bit of a break. Hope it lasts. Did have some minor excitement last week with the step kids, but that seems to have settled down as well and we're still not entirely sure what all was going on yet.
And I'm still looking for work. Such bad timing on my part, I suppose, but with hubby of on deployment, well, military pay makes things very tight, especially with kids who need airfare and "stuff" (like food, clothing, and want other things.. ) Hasn't helped that most of our reserve went to pay for a new water heater and plumbers.. darn it! :) But, I'll find something eventually. Just annoying right now, would much rather find something sooner then later. Have put in a few new applications and am really thinking I have a chance at them, so please keep your fingers crossed :)

what do you sacrifice to appease the gods of plumbing??

ok..
so after having already had my share of plumbing and flooding issues with my basement this past 2 months, apparently i still wasn't doing something right... Saturday I went down to the laundry room intending, oddly, to do some laundry... and discovered water, very rusty water, was all over the floor.. apparently my water heater (of unknown age - came with the house) had decided it had had it. it had rusted itself out apparently and i needed to get a replacement in a hurry.. joy...
anyway, I actually managed to get a replacement i could afford (which is hard right now with very little coming in, not much room in the budget right now for these sorts of surprises..) and had some family friends who were willing to give up a good chunk of their weekend (yes, even super bowl sunday) to come and install it for me.
all seemed to be going well. monday was fine.. tuesday was fine... then bam! today.. I had a job interview this morning (whole other topic.. temp agencies shouldn't leave you with the impression that your skills and experience are hopelessly out of date and useless just because you were lucky enough to be able to stay home and take care of your family for a few years.) and when I came back, I went down to finish washing up the towels we'd used to clean up after the water heater mess...
Only to discover that the septic had backed up all over the basement... joy. this has happened twice before. this past Christmas eve, and then once shortly after we moved in, so about march of 2006.. both times the line was snaked and "taken care of" though they were never sure what caused the problem. (I strongly suspect ice in the christmas incident..) This time, I called in a different plumber. He checked and said that there is some frost, and likely ice in the tank (given the weather lately, that isn't much surprise) and that may have some part in this. but he seemed pretty sure that he was able to clear the line. we ran water to make sure things were draining and they seemed to be in working order again.. hopefully they will stay that way for a long, long time as i am really getting tired of cleaning and drying out my basement...
not to mention i simply can't afford it anymore.. this keeps up i may just have to (joke here) torch the place and run away screaming into the night... (could never do that though.. all my books and muppety things are in the house.. not to mention my doggies..)

meanwhile, i'm left wondering what i've done to anger the gods of plumbing and what i need to so to appease them so they'll leave me alone for a while. and I'm off to buy new mop heads, big rubber gloves, and lots of bleach....

sadness

Well, yesterday my husband's deployment really set in. After about a month and a half of training down in Indiana, his group has finally shipped out and left the country. Up until now we've been able to have phone and internet contact every day. From this point on, that isn't going to be possible. He is going to be in a western European country (I'm supposed to be careful about what info I share on here.. ) for several weeks before they move on to Kosovo. While he is in country X, it is entirely likely that I will not hear from him at all until they reach their final destination.
This has made the deployment real at last and I'm afraid that the long delayed deployment depression is settling in.. Now, I usually get a bit of depression this time of year anyway.. I have seasonal depression, but I've got problems in the early spring instead of fall/winter.. (I've never been normal about anything apparently..) So this is hitting me really hard this year.. I know it's a temporary thing and will soon pass, but that doesn't make it any more fun to go through.
(Doesn't help either that I can't get a call back about any of the jobs I've been applying for.. I just want some part time work to earn a little extra cash and get out of the house once in a while.. I'm not looking for anything "serious" or part time... but it means that everyone - if they bother to tell me anything - tell me I'm over qualified as they move on to the next applicant..*sigh*)
Anyway.. for the time being, I'm trying to keep myself entertained by watching a lot of movies, trying to eat well, and attempting to poke around in my long ago past so I can remember names of the kids in my old elementary school class photos.. :)

soap box moment

I was reading about this thing that Obama has promised to sign into legislation as
soon as he's sworn in.  This is a nasty piece of work.  It would allow full term and
partial birth abortions, and if one of these children were to actually survive
the procedure, they would be set aside and ignored. Simply allowed to suffer until
they died.
This is an especially horrible thing to me as I so desperately want a child and am
one of the thousands of women in this country who are not able to have children of
our own.  Please sign this petition to change Obama's mind, and if you, or anyone
you know is ever in a position where this is something you find yourself, or a friend
considering, please stop and remember there are lots of us out here who would just
love to bring a child into our homes.

******* Forward this Message *******

Dear Friend,

I'm writing to let you know about a terrible piece of legislation called "The
Freedom of Choice Act" (FOCA).

FOCA would establish the right to abortion as a fundamental right (like the
right to free speech) and wipe away every restriction on abortion nationwide.

It will eradicate state and federal abortion laws that the majority of
Americans support and prevent states from enacting similar protective measures
in the future.

Please read the expert analysis by Americans United for Life (AUL) and sign the
Fight FOCA petition at:
http://www.FightFOCA.com

Thank you!

fostering update

Things had ben going very well. Ok, was still too darn cold and my truck still didn't much want to start (has warmed up today though, we're actually above 0 again..) but things had been going well.
Last wednesday I had finally gotten her home school material, and thursday we'd gotten started back in. We had appointments set for her and had found a way to get her excited about reading - which is the subject she has the most trouble with and hated doing..
Then friday night I got the call... they would be coming in about an hour to get her. OCS had decided she needed to be moved. All they would tell me was that it was "case related" and had nothing to do with me, but that I wasn't allowed to contact her mother about the move that night.
I know at least one of her siblings was also moved.
This has just devistated me. If I had had any doubts about my ability to handle fostering in general before, they were totally confirmed now. I simply can not deal with the seperation issues that can crop up. At least not right now. To get attached emotionally to a child that at any moment can be simply taken away.. I just can't deal with that.

2008 is gone- yay!! 2009 ???

Well, December is over at last... can't say that isn't a bad thing. As much as I love Christmas and had some nice plans for spending it by myself and popping around to vasious friends that had invited me over. It didn't work out that way.
I should, I suppose start at the beginning. The last few months of 2008 were really crazy for me, I spent a good solid month or more with a really nasty cold that kept coming back while i was trying to get things ready for my step kids to visit for Thanksgiving and get my husband all ready and packed for his year long military deployment. So we decided that I'd pretty much take off the month of December and not do anything around the house that didn't absolutely need to be done this month. That way I could spend the month just relaxing, which is an important thing for me. I've got seriously high blood pressure and I have to work hard to keep it as low as I can and lately, all the stress I've been under was a good part of why it was so high. So I was going to have a mini vacation and just live stress free.
I should have known better.
Things actually weren't too bad up until Christmas Eve. (Note: I live in Alaska and right now it is REALLY COLD!!!!! right now we're averaging about 20 below and it's been that way really since Christmas. The week before that we were averaging about 9 below. And it doesn't look to be getting any warmer for at least another week.) The morning of Christmas Eve I discovered that my basement had flooded due to a blockage in the septic lines. Most likely problem: ICE!!! Of course I couldn't get a plumber until Friday the 26th, so I lived without running water for 2 days.. It wasn't too bad that morning, but I went to a friend's for Christmas Eve dinner and when I got back realized I hadn't thought to unplug the water softner, which cycled while I was gone and seriously swamped me again, so I spent Christmas day mopping and cleaning. Not the fun, relaxing movie watching I'd hoped for. But the next day I got the plumber out and got it all taken care of, and right now I'm more careful and leave some warm water running overnight....
Thought that would be an end to it, no more little disasters...
Again, I should have known better...
New Years Eve day I decide I need to run to the post office, I have some letters I need to send and I need to be able to track them, so I bundle up and head out... No luck. Too cold, my truck won't start. I have been up here since 2003 and have never had a block heater on any of my cars. We'd talked about getting one on the truck, but ran out of time before my husband left, and then I was waiting til I had the money for it. Hopefully I can get in to get one sometime early this next week, but I've got to get it running again first. Actually had a neighbor come over and get it started on the 2nd, and it ran yesterday, but this morning, it decided it was too cold again. Which meant we couldn't go to Church today.
Oh yes, there's a "we" now, too.
Late afternoon on New Years day I got a phone call wanting to know if I would be willing to take in an 8 year old girl for up to 3 months. Her parents are getting a divorce because their father molested her older sister. There are 6 children total, the oldest is 12, the youngest is about 2. The girl I have with me is not aware of what her father did, but the kids were starting to act out and it was decided that it would be best if they all went to different homes for a little while. They will all be going to therapy and the plan is that over the next few weeks and months the kids will all be able to safely go back home.
We actually know this family pretty well, which is part of why I was asked to take one in. They wanted to lessen the seperation as much as they could so have placed everyone with people they already know. This is nice, I think, but means I'm waiting for Child Services to contact me so they can come inspect and approve me before we move the bulk of her stuff over here. So she moved into my step daughters' room, and once we get approval, I'll be getting her school work. She's homeschooled, so this will be interesting. Home schooling is something I haven't had that much interest in, and what little I ever did have, was greatly damaged when we tried homeschooling my stepson back in 2003 after he got himself expelled for being stupid. So this will be interesting.
As she will likely show up in some of these blogs, and I really don't want to post her personal information any more then I have to, I will give her a secret identity and, since she arrived in January, I will refer to her as Jan (which is no where near her real name...)

Anyway, this gave us a few answers to things, such as why I hadn't been able to find a job yet - I need to be home right now to take care of Jan while we're fostering her. Hopefully their counciling will go well and the family can all be united again soon. As I mentioned, we know the family quite well and this whole thing has just been a shock to everyone who knows them. Certainly never would have ever thought this sort of thing would happen there. This was a couple that had regular religious retreats where just the two of them would go away for a long weekend of spiritual renewal, scripture reading and romance. They adored each other. Just makes you wonder about the world.

Meanwhile.. for all my single male friends out there... I know of a soon to be single LDS female.. as long as you don't mind 6 kids (well, plus the 4 older fosters they raised...) :)

It's starting to sink in

Ok, so hubby's been gone 1 week. Now, he's usually gone for 4- 6 weeks at a time anyway for work (as an electrician on the north slope Alaska oil fields) so we really didn't expect things to fully set in for several weeks. But today, for whatever reason, I've suddenly gone really sad. He's far away (ok, not as far as he will be yet, but, the midwest is still pretty far from here, 4 time zones...) and I'm just sad. I miss him.

why, why, why.. oh why....

Ok, so.. Thanksgiving is over and I can sit still and breathe again for a moment... maybe...
For the last several months we've been ramping up and trying to get things ready and all set for my husband's deployment. Part of that included switching my two younger step daughter's winter visitation from the originally scheduled Christmas this year to Thanksgiving. We managed to get that done, and we decided to go ahead and do a mini-Christmas while they were here as well.
This meant that lots of things had to get done in time.. and sadly, every time hubby was home from his job (he works on the north slope oil fields and is generally gone from home for 2-6 weeks at a time with 2 weeks back home inbetween..) the national guard stole him away for training, so it wound up that I had to take care of everything. This not only included getting things ready for the holidays, but since he was never home, it meant that I pretty much had to get all his gear ready for deployment as well. And then I spend most of the month of October out with a really REALLY nasty cold/infection.. so.. I've been looking forward to the the post holiday break... I've now pretty much got nothing to do.. No one will be here for Christmas/New Years except myself and the dogs, so it's going to be pretty low-kwy and laid back...
Don't get me wrong, Thanksgiving was lots of fun. Actually got the meal timed perfectly, lots of great food (though, of course, phone rang just as we were about to sit down, and it was family we couldn't ignore..*sigh* but even so, things went pretty well.) The girls had a great time, oodles of snow to play in, with more falling all weekend.
But Sunday, things started to go downhill. We got up at an hour no one ever wants to see to get the girls to the airport on time for their flight back to their mom's. That trip was nicely uneventful, and we got back home in time to take a bit of a nap before having to get back up to go to church, or at least to sacrament meeting. Hubby had to be on Base that afternoon for a "bag check" which meant we weren't going to be able to stay for the whole meeting. BUt, we didn't even get that. While hubby was in the shower getting ready to go, we got a call from my step son. He informed us that he hadn't been feeling well for a few days and now he thought he should go to the emergency room. So, we had to go help take care of that. He'd skipped coming home with us for Thanksgiving so he could clean and paint the apartment he was moving into on the 1st (landlord said he'd waive the security deposit if they did this..) and turns out he should have worn a ventilation mask. The asthma that hadn't bothered him in years got woken up during the cleaning/paiting, and then, oh yeah, he had pnuemonia. So he was in the hospital for about 8 hours of treatment before they'd let him leave, and they really wanted to keep him over night, but he didn't want to stay...
Then this morning, I took hubby back to base to drop him off. Had to be there at 9 am.. so we get there, he turns in his bags, and they say, "ok, be back at 3" which we hadn't planned on. This was supposed to be a matter of dropping him off and coming back home.. so, plans changed. I certainly liked having the extra hours, but we both agreed it would have been nice to know about this in advance so we could have planned something.
Anyway, so when I get home, much later then planned (we'd left the house at 7:30 am and I got back around 4) discovered that a) the front door is stuck shut. It will not budge for anything. Fortunately I can get in through the garage, but, this is going to be a problem. And b) we left Gir (one of our tiny poms) on the sofa all day. She can actually jump off on her own, but she tends not to, and true to form, she stayed up there all day.. *sigh* needless to say, she ran for the dog door as soon as i got her off.
The front door though, that is really bugging me. I've tried a few things already tonight to try and pry the stupid thing open. None of them worked. Did talk to Hubby a bit while he was waiting for his plane and have a few more things to try, but I think I'm going to wait til tomorrow to try those. But, why???? Why do these things always happen as soon as he leaves?? He's going to be gone an entire year, you think the disasters could wait a few days.. weeks, months even...
Just really, REALLY frustrated right now. I'm supposed to be up at the church here in a few mintues, but I don't think I'm up for it tonight. I think at this point, I'm about up for crawling into bed andmaybe watching tv for a little while til I just completely become numb for a little while.
Hopefully tomorrow (which was supposed to be day 1 of my long de-stressing relaxation weekend before tackling all the post holiday clean-up..) I will be able to fix the stupid door and actually get myself pulled back together.

colds suck

Ok, this is kind of a pointless blog, but I'm tired of being sick. I had thought I was finally getting over this stupid cold and then all of a sudden it decides to come back in for an encore performance.
I hate this. All day and night it's nothing but racking, hacking coughs and head congestion. The congestion, at least is mild and under control. I just want the wretched coughing to go away. How can I get ready for this year's Thanksgiving/Christmas combo when I barely want to drag myself out of bed? *sigh*
Bother...
Anyway, with Tom's up coming deployment, we've got the kids for Thanksgiving this year instead of Christmas, like we normally would have this year. This way they can spend time with their dad before he leaves. This has thrown our original plans for Thanksgiving all awry and we are now combining both holidays. We're thinking of doing Christmas on Thanksgiving morning, and then Thanksgiving in the afternoon. This really won't vary too much from most people's Thanksgivings, except there will be the addition of a Christmas tree and presents...
For us, however, we have usually spent Thanksgiving with a large group of friends. They all get together at our church building, food assignments are broken down so no one is in charge of everything. There are usually games, movies, and some things that I'd best not mention for insurance purposes. It's a big all day shindig. Not at all what I was ever use to. This year, we'll be skipping that, though, and just go back to spending the day together as a family. (Though we might stop by there for a little while so the kids can play and see their friends.)

Meanwhile, if any of my friends ever actually read this (heh) if you want to come to Alaska for Christmas, I'll have plenty of room this year. Just so long as you can put up with the dogs :)

wow.. time flies...

Dang, I didn't realize it had been so long since I was last on here...
life happens I suppose... :)

Let's see, what has happened since I last posted..
well, all of our mice and gerbils have died of old age.. Well, the gerbils had health problems and just died on us.. but the mice all got old and died. Though right at present, I've got a wild mouse we caught about 2 weeks ago in a tank downstairs.. We caught her in a live catch trap and dumped her in an old empty tank until we could release her out in the woods.. cept the silly thing went and gave birth to a litter of, I think, 7 2 days later, so she's been getting a nice cozy little tank to nest in while we wait for the babies to get old enough to release. So they have about another week while I work on building a release box for them that will hold some nesting material and a food stash, since it has already frozen and dumped snow a few times.

Our older pom, Rocky, passed away in April of 07. Right around the time of all the dog food tainting, though not related. His heart meds had slowly been causing problems with his kidneys, and it all just finally got to be too much for him. I got up one morning and he had just colapsed, his back legs wouldn't work anymore, so I got him settled in his basket and brought him water, offered food, etc. But knew the end was near. A few short hours later, he just quietly fell asleep and passed away. He was a very good dog, very loving and well behaved. He is still missed.
That took us down to just 2 dogs, our other pom, Pepe, and the JRT, Willow. Hubby and I discussed it and decided that we'd like to look into getting another pom, and I started looking around at local breeders, expecting to get on a waiting list, but found one who had a lovely little boy we could have right then and there.. and for free! But, he had a few problems.. He was born with several birth defects, but given my history with dogs, it wasn't anything that we couldn't handle. (I've ahd several dogs with assorted medical issues over the years.) So on Memorial day, 2007, we brought home a very active little pup, just 7 months old and named him Gobo. We took him in to get neutered, of course, though it was more a formality as one of his birth defects would make breeding near impossible, but while he was under the knife, the vets tried to make things look a little neater for him as, well, there just is no polite way to say it, his penis was exposed. The skin that would normally cover his eurethra just wasn't there, so there is some exposed membrane that could cause later problems with infection. So they were trying to move some skin over that area to cover some of that up. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and we found out that he had an even weirder case then first thought, as he does not pee from the tip, but from an opening about half way down.. which they'd covered up.. So we had a bad abcess.. and the poor little guy spent most of the summer being restricted to the house and kept away from all the neighbor kids while he healed up... So, needless to say, he has become a serious momma's boy.
Then in December, I got a call from the same breeder. She'd bought a beautiful little female up to add to her breeding stock, but at 2 years old, she barely weighed 3.5 pounds and was just too small to use. So she wanted to know if we knew of anyone looking for a pom as a pet. Couldn't find anyone (which is odd.. when I don't know of any available, everyone's asking me.. but when I do have one available, no one wants em..). So, she came to join our bunch as well. Turned out, the little thing had just terrible teeth. She had a complete second set of cainines, so she had 4 extra teeth in her little mouth, so it hurt for her to try to eat. So, we talked to our vet, pushed a ton of soft food on her to try to get her weight up a smidge, then took her in to have her teeth done. In addition to the 4 extra teeth, she had to have 12 others pulled because they were loose or soft. She's up just over 4 pounds now (which is where she should be, she's just a tiny, delecate little thing, unlike stout, and very much over weight Pepe, or big, surdy Gobo who is twice her size) and just a joy. We named her Gir, and if you are familar with Invader Zim, the name suits her perfectly.

In august of 2007, I was in a very bad car accident. I had gone to the airport to pick my husband up, and on the way, I stopped for the light, but the very big delevery truck behind me, didn't quite make it. My poor station wagon, which I loved, was completely crushed. The back end just all crumpled right up to just behind the driver's seat. Fortunately, the kids had decided to stay home, so it was just me in the car. I was able to walk away, thankfully, though a good deal of that had to do with the shock. A few hours later, I could barely move. When I saw my x-rays, I was very very thankful. My spine was so shaken and just all over the place, that it was truely a miracle that nothing got pinched or severed. I was in a LOT of pain though, and really couldn't move much. We managed to get the kids back to their mom's for the school year, and bought me a new big car - hubby decided after seeing the car that he wanted lots of space between me and anyone behind me... and got me settled into a routine for trips to the chiropractor before hubby had to leave to go back to work again. The next few months were very interesting. I was in pain almost non stop, couldn't walk, couldn't sit, couldn't stand for more then 5-10 minutes at a time. could barely move my right arm, wasn't supposed to lift anything, etc... but.. no one else home most of the time. But, doc was pleased, said my recovery went better and faster then he expected, and about 10 moths later, I was released from care. I still have occasional pain, limping, and such, my pelvis was twisted very badly as well, and it just won't go back 100%. Mostly I just have to try to loose some weight, which is extra annoying because I had been loosing weight before the accident and doing really well for the first time in years. Of course, after the accident, I coulnd't do anything, so gained everything back, and now it hurts more to do stuff, so it's harder to get myself to do it.. mean mean cycle...

Let's see.. in October last year hubby and I went to Indiana to visit his mom and sisters. I'd only met his mom once before and hadn't met any of his siblings. It was hard on me to make the trip, but it was well worth it, as a month after we got back, his mom passed away.

In November, my oldest step daughter made us Grandparents! Darn her!!! :) I'm much too young to be a grandma.. but then, I'm much too young to have a 21 year old.. :)
The baby is very adorable though. They both came up this last summer and spent a month with us. Bailey and the baby (Gaia) were a joy to have with us, and Gaia was one of the best behaved babies I've ever dealt with. Though their visit really re enforces the need to get a baby or two in this house full time.... *sigh* ... one day.. one day...

Every time we've gotten started on adoption paperwork, something comes up to but a delay in it.. last year, it was my car accident, this year.. well, we found out this past spring that my hubby will be deploying at the end of this year and be gone a year. So, that put another 2 year delay. *sigh*

This year, over all, has been fairly quiet, though extremely busy. and really doesn't look to be slowing down any time soon. Right now, I'm just happy gas has gone back down under $4 a gallon. :)

teenagers....

*sigh* how is one supposed to deal with a 17 year old step son who really doesn't care what you say or do, thinks he knows everything and the world owes him and will just hand him things (and where did he learn that, anyway?? certainly not in our house..)
Hubby is constrained by work, which keeps him away from home and up at the north slope for weeks at a time, during which the boy feels he can run rough shod over me and all the house rules...
*sigh*

(like the one about not taking off at 9 pm and still not being home at 3 am with not a word to anyone... that's the one currently irking the heck out of me... forcing me to stay up all night wondering where he is or when he might deign to show back up... meanwhile, the lack of sleep is going to seriously screw with my medication schedule and my already messed up sleep schedule.. *sigh* )

bother bother bother...

anyone want a slightly used teenager??